They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
