Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
