just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
