Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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