? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
