we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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