So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
