Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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