"it" just moved
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
