that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
only if we run a train.
done.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
