just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
