She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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