so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
