rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i now understand why vodka
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
