Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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