My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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