You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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