I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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