I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
