Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
