In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're a waste of cheezeits
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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