I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
