Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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