Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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