can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
