I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
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There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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