I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
