never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
