i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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