i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
