she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
