So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
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the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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