oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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