I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We need to get me chipped asap
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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