I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
