I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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