JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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