I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
