it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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