Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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