I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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