ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
