you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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