I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize