I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
