3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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