I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize