i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Let's paint friendship bongs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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