it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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