but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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