I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
