Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Text me some of your sweat
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
