My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
