dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
