we're blogging at a bar
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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