Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
