Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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