are you so shy because you have an std?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
