i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
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I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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