Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
