no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
