I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
