When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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