We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
