Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
