I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
