I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
