thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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