I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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