So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize