Im at strip club and am horny
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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