Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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