i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
