Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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